I have encountered many clients struggling with issues related to living in US as Asian Americans. The significance and prevalence of these concerns are wide spread but rarely addressed. Many Asian Americans face ongoing challenges as they navigate between majority American culture and their culture of origin.
Why can’t I date whoever I choose to date?
Why do I have to make personal decisions and having to make sure that my parents would approve?
Why do I feel so guilty when I all really want is having more freedom and independence?
One of the most frequent concerns that Asian American youth or young adults seek counseling is inter-generational cultural conflict. The differences between Asian American generations are seen commonly in areas such as: dating, being in multicultural relationships, mate selection or marriage choices, and academic or career choices. Other concerns that prompt people to seek help from a therapist may include: values, attitudes, lifestyle, sexual orientation, religious or spiritual activities and other difficulties that create enough distress in the person or increasing tension in the family.
My children don’t speak our language at home anymore! I am worried he or she will be too Americanized and lose our traditional ways.
Are they going to care about us when we grow old, will they put us in a home?
How can I talk to my son/daughter in law when we don’t speak the same language?
For the Asian American parents, the challenges lie in concerns of establishing authority or family roles, losing confidence as parents, language or cultural barriers, uprooting and abandonment, adjustments, preservation of culture of origin, anxiety and fear of losing culture of origin, stress from family tension and conflicts.
Managing and dealing with inter-generational differences is an ongoing process. As a therapist, I help my clients understand their thoughts, feelings, and experience as well as how these affect the interactions or dynamics within the families. I also assist clients learn gentler ways of communicating and articulating perspectives, values, needs and expectations without hurting their family members. Misunderstanding lessens and tension subsides as we are able to grieve for losses and abandonment, identify positives or gains out of our adopted culture, and creating an integrated bi-cultural identity among contradictions of Asian or the western ways.
Joy Tsai-Yuan Hung, MFT
Tel: 619-717-0977
3636 - 5th Ave. Suite 100, San Diego, CA 92103
Email: psychotherapywithjoy@gmail.com